My love for you is as big as my fathers nose
by BOOMitsBETH
Summary: Evanna Lily Snape is a very troubled girl with a very secret past. When she is reunited her father after seven years her life appears to turn upside down. She is judged, ridiculed,loved and admired, but what does anyone really know about Evanna snape? As the secrets of her past begin to unfurl, will she fight or flee?


The begining of the end.

Name: Evanna Lily Snape.  
Age: first year  
House: Slytherin.  
Crush: find out.  
Blood Status: Half-Blood.  
Extra: The daughter of Severus Snape and Avanna Burrley. Is in first year.

As I lay in bed, asleep, dreaming of princesses and pirates. I heard murmuring coming from downstairs. As I was pulling on my pink fluffy dressing gown and slipping my little feet into my slippers I heard an agonized scream , the slamming of the front door and suddenly, I was alone. I crept downstairs silently. Though I knew no one was there, I had to check.  
"Daddy?" my voice came out in a whisper, as though I was begging for something that didn't exist.  
"Mummy?" I said my voice getting a little louder. Nothing, I was completely alone. My heart began beating very fast inside my pink night gown. A wand lay strewn across the floor. If only I could use it, but I was just a four year old girl, what use was a wand to me? My eyes surveyed the room in search for something I could use to escape this cold and lonely house. Then my common knowledge kicked in. When daddy and the other men had ran out they had been in a rush and hadn't locked the door. I may be just a young girl of four but I wasn't stupid infact, I was quite educated for my age. I had to be, what with my daddy being a professer and all.

I ran upstairs as fast as I could and pulled out my small rucksack in which I placed my school things. I emptied the bag of books and cardigans and ran to my wardrobe. I began dressing very quickly, not bothering to fold my nightgown and just throwing my dressing gown across the room. No one would be here to comment on my tidiness. I pulled on jeans and a thick sweater on top of this I yanked onmy big waterproof coat. I heaved on my boots and grabbed the rest of the warm clothes I had, stuffing them into the rucksack. I grabbed my rucksack and rushed downstairs.

I went to the kitchen and under the fridge, as I expected, was my small bag of money that mummy had convinced me to keep. I could do simple adding and subtracting as I was clearly the smartest girl in my year, not to brag or anything but I was doing work much higher than others of my age. I had 3 galleons and 10 muggle pounds. Not nearly enough for me to live on. Oh well. Time to be a criminal, for the first time in my life. I crept to my mummys room and took 12 galleons and 30 muggle pounds from her savings box. I felt awful for stealing but what else could I do? I couldn't stay here and wait for the men to return.  
I went back to my beloved living room and grabbed paper. I quickly scribbled a note.

"Dear Daddy,  
You left me alone in this cold dark house without any knowledge of when you would be returning, In the heat of the moment, I have fled, I may grow to regret this decision but this is a risk im afraid I have been forced into taking, I shall not apologize for my actions as I do not feel sorry , say what you feel , feel what you say, isnt that right daddy? Anyways, I feel that I will not lay eyes on you again, say goodbye to mummy for me,  
Your ever loving daughter,  
Evanna Lily Snape"

First year,first sight.

I remember the day I left home clearly, as though it was yesterday. I was so small and so so scared...  
"Evanna, come on were leaving now!" my mother cried up the stairs. I wiped the tears from my eyes angrily and placed my diary into my Hogwarts trunk. I left my room at the same time as my 'twin' Lee. Of corse we wern't really twins, it was just a coincidence that we shared the same birthday. The Jordans had found me sleeping rough in their forest a month after I had left home. I was as thin as a twig and just as breakable. I've grown alot since then though I'm still quite small and very skinny for my age. It's all in the past now, of corse I can never forget it, but I've learned to live with it. As I sat in the back of the car,my heart pounding,trying to calm myself down. I clutched Lee's hand desperatly, clinging onto it for support.

"And here it is kids, the Hogwarts express." The train that would change my life...

Lee had managed to make us some friends,I was too anxious to socialise so I just nodded and laughed at appropriate moments. We stood in line with the weasly twins, waiting to be sorted.  
"Jordan Evanna," I step forward shakily and before the hat completely covered my eyes they meet with my fathers. Professer Severus Snape.

"Well well well, the daughter of Severus, finally found," the hat declares to the hall. I hear cheers from what must be the Slytherin table and hisses from everywhere else. I close my eyes and concentrate on breathing.  
"SLYTHERIN!" the hat shouts. I look pleadingly at Lee, he smiles weakly at me then looks away. Now I truly am on my own.

I soon got used to the fame that came with being Snapes daughter. The adoring smiles from the Slytherins, the hisses from the Gryffindors, the ignorance from the Ravenclaws and the disgusted looks from the Hufflepuffs. I'd been at Hogwarts less than a week and already I was the most known girl in the school and, truthfully, I hated it. I'd quickly befriended the shyest girl in Slytherin, Lucy, who also had a brother in Gryffindor and longed to be back with him, my actions confused most people but I was comfortable with Lucy, I was me. Lucy and I did most things together and when professer Flitwick came telling me that my 'father' wanted to speak to me, Lucy assured me she'd be by my side no matter what.

Maybe I should just ignore it? Pretend he doesnt exist. Pretend we were never related. Say the Jordans have always been my family... and burn that god damn hat. I entered my first potions lesson first thing Friday morning giggling with lucy. He looked straight at me, assigned my seat then went to get on with the lesson. I was sat near Draco Malfoy, a boy who seemed extremely foul though skilled at potions.

I was sitting staring absentmindedly whilst my father prattled on. Eventually he mumbled something that caught my attention.  
"Oh yes, Mr Potter our new...celebrity," for the first time that lesson my gaze was fixed at the front. It seemed he was talking to an extremely nervous looking dark haired boy with dazzling bright green eyes and a shocking scar across his forehead. Oh my god...I froze. I wanted to die. Tears pricked my eyelids. He looked right at me then turned away. He didnt reconize me... He didn't know me...my heart was beating wildly inside my school blouse. He hadnt changed, he still had that intent way of looking at you and his teeth still rested softly on his full lower lip...  
"EVANNA." I jumped and began blinking hysterically.  
"Who set the bomb off?!" I exclaimed looking around. The class burst into laughter and I went as bright as my hair.  
"Detention miss Snape."  
"It's miss Jordan." I growled. He looked startled and mildly offened. The room went deadly silent.  
"If that is what you wish."  
"Yes it is." Everyone could feel the tension in the air and no-one dared to breathe. I looked over at Lee who grinned at me. I gave a weak smile back then tried to concentrate on my work, breathing heavily.

"Wow Evvie!" Lucy exclaimed when we got outside.  
"What? My name is Jordan. I don't want to be known as Snape, I dont want to be connected to him, I'm going to be my own person and have my own reputation. I'm going to make it so Proffesser Severus Snape is ashamed to have me as a daughter."  
"Is that right Miss Jordan? Well I suggest you discuss this somewhere else," I went bright red and my eyes went wide.  
"Yes sir," I whispered and walked off to my next class. I felt so humiliated.  
The day ended and Lucy and I went back to the common room. I decided that I'd show him. I'm not shy. I dont have a tendency to blush. I'm not innocent. I'm Evanna Lily Jordan, now sit the hell down, please...

Gryffindor pride.

I've been at Hogwarts almost a month now and I've been thinking, maybe I dont need to change, Snape stays out of my way and I stay out of his. I don't need to change just to prove a point to that greasy haired long nosed...thing.

I went down to breakfast with Lucy and we decided to sit at the Gryffindor table. Lee eargerly pats a seat next to him. I sit down and grin. I reach over to grab some bacon and my hand collides with another one.  
"Ooops, sorry," I say going slightly pink. This pink turns to feiry red when I realise it's Harry.  
"It's fine, honestly," His _voice_...my heart is beating at about 500 million miles per second and I'm sure that I'm the colour of the Gryffindor tie .I turn around to try and hide my face.  
"OWWW!" Harry screams. I turn around and see him holding his eye.  
"Omg I'm so sorry I didnt realise my hair was that close to your face omg I'm sorry, are you okay, omg your poor eye!" I burble frantically. His eye is all red and he's still rubbing it.  
"Don't rub it, it'll make it worse!" I fuss. I dip a tissue in cold water and rub his eye with it gently.  
"There, is that better?" I ask. Everyone else has gone back to their breakfast and I'm suddenly _very _aware of how close we are.  
"Much," he whispers. I go red again.  
"I'm Evanna," I say, stupidly.  
"Harry,"  
"Yeah, I know..."  
"So um your Snapes daughter?"  
"Unfortuneately yes, our blood is similar."  
"Wow, you must really detest the guy huh?"  
"oh, you have no idea."  
"What so yous don't get along or something...?" The bell goes off very loudly and I suddenly realise how hungry I am. I take a bit of toast with me as I rush off to Transfiguration with Lucy.

This had been my first encounter with harry since I ran away from home. He hadnt changed, much, I mean he'd grown abit, and well he wasnt four anymore. But he was Harry, he was alive! I remember what was asked of ,e. Maybe I should still continue with it? No stupid idea. Silly girl.I'm nothing like that I dont want to hurt Harry. I'm nothing like my father.

But is the prediction to much to ignore?

"GET YOUR PRIDE ON EVVIE!" Lucy screamed as she bounded into my room the next day. I groaned.  
"Ergh, it's early."  
"Evvie, its 9 o'clock..."  
"I know..." I could almost hear her rolling her eyes.  
"Come on , Quidditch match. 15 minutes. Go go go!" I pull myself out of bed and groggily get dressed. I drag myself down to the Quidditch pitch and ooo lucky me. It's raining. Absolutely chucking it down. I step straight into a muddy puddle.  
"Ergh! Luce! You could've mentioned the rain!" Lucy does her famous rolling eye thing and gets an umbrella from her bag. I grin. Suddenly Pansy and her crew run past shrieking because of the rain.  
"ooo ooo my new guchi boots! Ahhh quickly before I become even more pug-faced then I am already!" I shriek in a jokey impression of Pansy. A few minutes later she walks over.  
"Hey there, Evanna?" I nod meekly.  
"I don't suppose you want to study with me later?"  
"I um I can't..."  
"Why not? She asks sharply.  
"I have to go to my potions detention," I say quickly, making up an excuse.  
"You don't have a potions detention, look Evanna, -"she sniggers my name this time.  
"-If you don't want to socialize with me then say, don't make up petty excuses."  
"Well um... It's not that it's just I was scared incase you thought me sad but I was um hoping to catch up on my reading tonight as I haven't had any spare time to myself in such a long time but I will um study with you another day um pansy um erm yeah..." I stutter.  
"OKAY!" She grins happy enough with my excuse then flounces off with her friends.  
"Luce how on Earth can I get out of this one?!"  
"The same way you got into it..." I look at her puzzled.  
"Lie."  
"How though?" Suddenly Seamus Finnigan goes past with a 'GRYFFINDOR PRIDE' banner, he winks at Lucy and she goes bright red.  
"With Gryffindor Pride," She says grinning.  
"Nice idea Luce, and you soooooo fancy him." again she goes bright red.  
"DO NOT."  
"DO TOO!" I shout back childishly then grab her hat and run off backwards shouting  
"DO TOO DO TOO!"  
"Miss Jordan." Says a cold voice. As usual I flush the same colour as my hair. I don't remember his voice being so cold and empty and horrid.  
"Sorry Proffesser," I mumble sheepishly walking away, with Lucy following.

We sit next to Seamus and Dean in the Gryffindor stands, receiving horrible looks from everybody around us. Seamus spends a full 10 minutes staring at Lucy and saying nothing. I roll my eyes and fix them to the front. I look down at the pitch and a pair of startling green eyes stare up at me. Oh my life, Harry Potter, the new Gryffindor seeker. Draco will be seething. I don't spend much time thinking about Draco as Harry is still staring up at me. I'm bright red and my heart is beating fast, he gives a wave , I grin and go to wave back then I hear a shout of.  
"GO ON HARRY!" and I realise I'm sitting in front of Ron,Hermione and Hagrid. Stupid me. Why would Harry be staring at me? He probably can't even remember my name from this morning. I'm back to my normal pale colour and my heart is beating slowly. Although my down hearted spirit doesnt last long. Soon enough I'm cheering, for Gryffindor. Lee is the commentator. And at some time during the match he catches my eye and winks, I grin back at him. I turn to look at Lucy and see she's holding hands with Seamus. As if that wasn't obvious.

I tell her this when we clamber into bed that night.  
"I knew you soooo fancied him."  
"So?"  
"So are you gonna start seeing him regularly? Are you gonna be like attached at the hip?"  
"Well its early days yet but he asked if we could maybe go for a walk on Sunday, near the black lake, and he says he might kiss me, if I don't mind, obviously!" She giggles. I am green with envy, I am the jealous monster. I don't say any of this, I simply close my eyes and fall into a dreamless sleep.

You have the prettiest eyes ive ever seen.

My eyes are groggy and my nose is stuffed. I have a killer headache and I'm sure I'm dying. This isn't just a cold. I feel like utter utter crap. I'm forced to drag myself out of bed out of sheer thirst. I drink a glass of water all in one then realise im hungry too. I pull on a plain black sweater with a large v-neck and some jeans. I pull on plain black boots as the weather doesnt look too clever either. I don't bother with makeup, it will simply get ruined by tissues. I tug a brush through my hair and tie it up into a messy pony tail. I look a complete mess, but it's Saturday and I intend to simply grab food and go back to bed.

Lucy went down to breakfast a while ago and is sitting with Seamus when I arrive. I give her a weak smile and sit down.  
"Wow Evvie, you sure look like crap,"  
"Thanks Lee. Love you too."  
A fleet of owls suddenly come sweeping across the table dropping two letters onto my bacon.  
"Hey look, kelsie's wrote, and so has mum!" I say to Lee.  
"Mum?" Harry questions. I go bright red.  
"Um well yeah erm Lee and I are um well in erm some ways brother and um sister..."  
"Wow, cool!" He smiles warmly at me. I smile back, still bright red. He must think I'm a walking tomato. I haven't always been this shy, I'm only shy when I'm not with Kelsie, she brings out the confidence in me.

To my dearest Evanna,

Ahahahahahaha JOKES BBZ. ITS YA BFF. Hehe. I gave this to your mam and she said she'd post it for me, So here I am irritating the life out of you as usual. Life ain't the same without you, can't wait till the summer! Danny and everyone are irritating the h to the e ll out of me! Hows Lee? nudge nudge wink wink. I might write to him too, has he mentioned me yet? Are you in the same house as him? I sooooo wish I wasn't a squib. Do you know how absolutely depressing that is? Michael misses you... maybe you should give him another chance? It was an accident you know Evvie, you kind of went OTT. He was at a party, what would you have done say if Josh or daley or someone tried it on with you? Met any new lads at Hoggywarts? Hehehe. Lemme know all about it, even the titchiest little thing and I wanna know.  
LY YOU SO MUCH BABY.  
Bet your missing me ahahahah.  
bye tiger bear.  
meow.  
Kelise  
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Dear Evanna,  
How are you? Kelise gave me a letter to send to you, I hope you've recieved it. Have you spoke with your 'father' at all? I need to know these things hunny, what house are you in? How's your dorm? Have you got any new friends? If so are they nice? What are they like? Are you finding it difficult? Write back soon hunny.  
Love you  
Mum  
xxx

My eyes start watering as I realise that I miss Kelsie soooo much it hurts. I also realise that I'm the only person left in the dining hall and everyone else had gone a while ago. I snivell pathetically and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.  
" Evanna?" I jump.  
"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you, its just I saw you crying and you know..." It's Harry and again my heart begins beating madly and I can't control my breathing.  
"I'm fine it's just I miss home..." he places his arms gently around me in a hug. I hug back instantly. He pulls away and looks at me.  
"It'll all get better, you see, you have Lucy now,"  
"I know but to be truthfull...Lucy's a bit boring..."  
"I see what you mean, but Slytherin doesn't really have a wide choice of friends, it's Lucy or pug faced parkinson!" I laugh though this joke is't a bit funny and I've heard it a hundred times. He smiles and me and suddenly whispers,  
"You have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen," I'm positively glowing now, bright red. Suddenly he's leaning in and I can't breathe, he's going to kiss me, he's going to... and then with a start I wake up, banging my head off the wooden table. I realise that I'd fallen asleep in the hall. I stand up and go back up to my dorm, I collapse onto my bed, both emotionally and physically drained. .

I awake at around one and decide to reply to my earlier letters.

Hey Kels,  
Michael is most certainly NOT GETTING ANOTHER CHANCE. He's perfectly happy with little miss perfect prissy Gabrielle. And I have other sights. HARRY FREAKING POTTER. OH YES BIATCH. I mean we've chatted once or twice and he doesn't recongize me, but that can and will change. I'm in Slytherin, worse luck, Lee's in Gryffindor. But I've got a friend, she's called Lucy and she's really kind and helpfull. She's also really shy though so thats not good, but I love her like a sister. My father is my potions teacher ahahahaha! My first lesson with him I got a detention! For reminding him my name is now 'Jordan' and most certainly NOT SNAPE. Oh hell naw. Tell Danny that when I come back at the hols imma sort him out. hehe. I've got such a rotten horrid cold at the moment and am currently lying in bed feeling sorry for myself. Love you Kels, My bezzie for Ezzie.

Reply as quick as you can.  
hunny bee.  
buzz  
Lurvvv Evanna xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hi mum,  
Yeah I've spoke to 'dad' but it's just about school stuff, he's my potions teacher you see. I'm in Slytherin and Lee is in Gryffindor. I've made a friend though, Lucy, she's really nice, you'd like her mum. I'm famous for being Snapes daughter and I hate it, it's difficult to make friends with people from other houses because of him. But Lucy and I tend to hang around with Lee alot, although not enough as I miss him badly. I miss you lots mum, I've got a little cold so I'm tired and need sleep,  
Bye mum, miss you and love you.  
Evanna xxxxxxxx

I lay back on my bed and sigh. Lucy comes in.  
"Why don't you go for a walk Evvie? You need the air then I'll maybe see you at lunch?" I nod weakly, take a book from my bookshelf and leave. I go down to the black lake and take my shoes and socks off. This is a BIG mistake, the water is freezing! Oh well it will warm up, hopefully :/ I get out my book 'Girls in Love' because I relate so ,much to the main character, Ellie,as she also has a 'tendency to blush pillar box red every 5 minutes' I start reading my book.  
"Hey," I jump and drop my book in the water.  
"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" He exclaims fishing my book out from under the water.  
"Its fine, honestly." I say cleaning my book up. He sits next to me and we chat for ages, about anything and everything. Then the lunch bell goes off. "Lets go then?" I nod and he helps me up. He doesnt let go of my hand, I smile inwardly.

We enter the great hall together still holding hands and everyone gasps.  
"POTTER AND THE FREAK ARE GOING OUT!" The Slytherin table shouts. I go bright red, drop Harry's hand then rush to my seat hurridly. Harry isnt phased, he sits down next to me and the jeers continue.  
"Um...Evvie? Do you maybe want to go out with me tonight? Like for a walk or something...after tea?"  
"I'd love to," I smile.

Hugs and Kisses.

I wanted to try really hard for this date. But it wasn't going to be easy, I still had this ugly rotten cold and my nose was all crusty. I try on and discard half of my wardrobe. I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. This calls for drastic measures. I get out my parchment and quill hurridly. Please be home. PLEASE. I scribble a really quick letter.

Dear Gabrielle,  
Look I know we don't get along. But I need your help this is important. I NEED YOU NOW. I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT DATE AND NOTHING TO WEAR. HELP ME.  
Thanks bitch.  
Evanna.

I run to the owlery and grab Ruffles.  
"Ruffles! This is important, remember that stuff mum gave you? Yeah? Drink it then deliver this to Gabrielle. Thank you Ruffles!" I whisper to him. I give him a quick kiss then attach the letter to his leg. I go back to my dorm and sit biting my nails. Five minutes later theres a loud tap on my window. RUFFLES.

Dear Evvie,  
Wow well thanks for the 'hello hows beuxbatons, and how are you Gabby?" okay okay I know your sore about michael but can't we just forget about it? Hum? Please? We were so close... once... come on Evvie babe! Anyway, what kind of date is it? Like where are you going? And what time? Importance.  
Love ya hunny!  
Gabby  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I roll my eyes at her letter. Pathetic really 'we were close...once' we'd never been close! I hate her so much but she just so happens to be my only option right now.

Dear GABRIELLE.  
It's a night time date. At night. were going for a walk around the grounds of Hogwarts. Near the lake. It's cold outside though and I'm ill.  
Evanna.

Dear Evvie,  
Don't be like that! Please make up? Please? I miss you babe. I really do. Come on, you can't be in a huff forever! Wear your white jeans, those lush black boots with the fur on top, your leather jacket and any random band tee, your All Time Low? Rihanna? Any will look amazing. Keep the make up to a minimum, 2 coats of mascara, a light foundation and a subtle pink lippy. Wear your 'stars 'n' bars' knecklace and your hair in a fish tail plait with a pink rose clipped in. Good luck babe. We need to talk about what happened! Write straight back once you've been on your date. Okay?  
Love you babe.  
Gabby  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Gabrielle.  
I suppose this outfit will look OK. I most certainly will NOT be writing back to you.  
Evanna.

I dress in my outfit and grin at myself in the mirror. Okay I might hate her, but that girl has fashion sense.

I exit my dorm and walk down to the common room. It's almost empty apart from Draco who is lounging on the couch, he whistles when I walk in.  
"Where are you going looking that THAT?" he asks, his eyes wide.  
"Nothing to do with you..."  
"Oh I wish it was," he winks cheekily and I walk out. I go to the main entrance where Harry is waiting, he's wearing a black sweater with a plain black jacket, jeans and trainers. I immediately feel over dressed. But Harry smiles at me and takes my hand, reasuring me.  
"Wow Evvie, you look beautiful." I grin like an idiot.  
"Thank you," we start walking and end up at the end of the Black Lake. I go to sit down but he stops me.

"No you'll ruin your jeans," he says putting his coat down for me to sit on. I smile shly and sit down. He puts his arm around me and we chat for ages.  
"Wow it's getting late," he says, a hint of sadness in his voice, he helps me up and we walk again. We stop at the side of the castle and its extremely dark. Harry leans in and kisses me softly. It's exactly what the stories say yet so much more, I feel the sparks I hear the fireworks but I also feel _him_, I feel his soft warm lips, his scent, the way he stands, the way his arms are around my waist. And it's amazing. Until he starts getting rougher. I feel uncomfortable now, though I know he wouldn't do anything to harm me would he? I'm slammed against the wall and he's pressed up against me breathing heavily. His lips are violent now and I'm suddenly aware of how cold it is. I push him off me.  
"I'm cold, I want to go to bed now," I whisper. He grabs my hand again and walks me to my dorm.

"Bye then Harry, um thanks for tonight," I whisper.  
"We should do it again some time eh?" He says. I nod silently. I go to let myself in but he grabs me back and kisses me roughly. I pull away after about 5 seconds.  
"Goodnight Harry." I say firmly.  
"Evvie? Did I do something wrong?!" He asks. He kisses me gently again and all those feelings come rushing back.  
"Was that better?" I nod again, out of breathlessness this time.  
"Night Evvie baby," He says and with one last lovely kiss he's gone. I let myself into my dorm and collapse onto my bed. Wow. Wow. Wow.

There's another letter from Kesie waiting for me on my bedside table. I tear it open eagerly.

Dear Evvie,  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR FATHER IS PATHETIC. LOOL. He thought you'd be still called Snape? I'm dying I really am. So Harry Potter? High standards like seriously. Anything happened yet? I'm bored right now and have nothing to do so write back immediately child! Give Michael another chance? Gabby's gone now anyway! Go on, you know you want to! You coming home for the chrizzy hols? Better be biatchh. Hugs and kisses.  
Bye Tiger bear.  
Meow  
Kels  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Kels,  
I KNOW RIGHT? AHAHAHAHAHA. And not that high apparently considering I just got back from a date with him! Yeah so SHUT UP. We kissed, not much… LOL JOKES. I'M DYING HERE. HARRY POTTER KISSED ME. JUST GIVE ME A DOUGHNUT. Krispy Kreme, preferably. The chocolate one with the lil swirly design! Thanks. Give up about Michael before I come and bite your nose off. And I'm not so sure about the holidays yet, I might just stay here :/ ly. Hugs and kisses.  
Bye Hunny Bee.  
Buzz.  
Evvie  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Evvie,  
Your ditching me for Hogwarts?! I hateeeee youuuu. So much. I have to stay with the lads. You bitch. AND REALLLY?! HE KISSED YOU ?! YOUR NOT LYING HERE?! OMG EVVIE. Your doughnut -à Insert Doughnut. COME HOME BABY. Hugs and kisses.  
Bye Tiger Bear.  
Meow.  
Kels  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Kels, Yes he kissed me. Like actual contact. What you been doing lately? Any new boyfriends? Lee will be gutted ;) I'd come home but I'm, not aloud, kinda need my qualifications :/ sawz baby. Hugs and Kisses.  
Hunny Bee.  
Buzz.  
Evvie  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Evvie,  
Well, school, school,school. But I suppose it's not so bad, like, the teachers are okay, but some of the people. They irritate me. I haven't got to the stage of making any new girlfriends, their all stuck up bitches. They ask if I've got any friends and I tell them about you, they call me a liar and laugh. Then I get into fights and told off. I do have FRIENDS. Like I'm not a loner, but my main ones are just the lads, Leahara (you remember her?) and a total muggle girl called Amy, she's a bit of a nuisance really consideringg we can't discuss Quidditch and other things with her around. We all just kind of use her, she's getting quite close to Sean though, Gabrielle wont be happy about that one. Hugs and kisses.  
Tiger bear  
Meow  
Kels  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Kels,  
Wow, this girl seems like she's headed for the ditches… Is she nice? Hair colour? Eye colour? Is she shy? Is she pretty? I can now ride a broomstick (O_o) How jel are you? Heh heh. Imma get mum to buy me a nimbus 2000! Is Leahara still really shy? Write back baby. Hugs and Kisses.  
Hunny Bee  
Buzz  
Evvie  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Evvie,  
GIMMIE A GO OF YOUR BROOM. TEACH ME HOW TO RIDE IT. PLEASE. PRETTY PLEASE. ILL PAY YOU. With Doughnuts. You know you want to get the doughnuts! Amy's blonde haired blue eyes and she's okay looking I guess but she's a bit plain. Please come home for Christmas? Please Evvie, I really miss you. It's getting to the point where I'm thinking about doing my homework. No joke. HOMEWORK. Being deadly serious. Of corse Leahara is still shy, what kind of question is that? I don't think she's spoke this year! Oh by the way WHEN you come back for Christmas bring me some food? Please? Just so I can feel like I'm from Hogwarts? Go on! Hugs and kisses.  
Tiger bear  
Meow  
Kels  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Kels,  
IF I come home for the holidays, I'll bring you some food. I'll get you a bit of everything. The elves in the kitchen are good friends with Fred and George WHO ARE AMAZING. Honestly Kels, If I could introduce you I would. Their amazing. They really are. They've got bright red ginger hair with freckles and cheesy grins. Their the best pranksters I've ever met. Ever. Their even better than us! And I MIGHT give you a go of my broom, but only if your good ;-) DO NOT DO YOUR HOMEWORK. DON'T SINK TO THAT LEVEL. HANG ON. Hugs and kisses.  
Hunny bee  
Buzz  
Evvie  
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Dear Evvie,  
I gotta go now, no more writing, our new owl is getting tired. It's a tawny and it's called beaky. Lila named it. Please come home Evvie… please. It's not fair, you only want to stay at Hogwarts to stay with Harry. You've only known him 5 minutes. You've known me all your life. Get your priorities sorted or lose everything.  
Tiger bear.  
Growl.  
Kelsie.

Dear Kels,  
Okay bye.  
Hunny bee.  
Sting.  
Evvie.

Blast from the past.

Kelisie's P.O.V  
'Little miss perfect prissy Gabrielle' more like little miss perfect prissy Evanna. Oooo I'm so amazing because my parents are rich and have loads of money and buy me whatever I want and everyone else doesn't matter because I ran away from home so I have to be the centre of attention all the time and everyone has to feel sorry for me. That might be mean but its true.

Since nursery she's always been the one everybody likes, the one no one ever talks bad about 'cause she's so perfect. Little Evanna in her perfectly ironed dresses with little pink or blue checks, sometimes yellow, with little frilly socks and cute little shoes with girly straps. She'd always have her red hair flowing around her shoulders and her teeth were always bright white. She'd throw her head back whenever she laughed and her curls would fly wildly. Her hair never had tats in it, and if she straightened it it wouldnt frizz it would be straight. It wouldn't even go wavey. In the winter she'd wear leggings, pale pink or blue, or flowery, and she'd have these lush black boots with fur inside that I envied. My own fake Uggs couldn't compete though every other girl longed for them. She'd wear big chunky knit cardigans always immaculate white or a light grey colour. And her coat...I'm still jelous of it now, bright white and furry! It was soft when you hugged her. I can remember the first time I ever went to her house for tea after school when we were younger.

We skipped down the street grinning at each other, Evanna in her pink checky dress and a white cardigan with a little pink rose clipped into her beautiful curly hair, me in my jeans with my holister hoodie and dirty red converse my bright blonde hair flying all over, completely out of control. She opened her door.  
"Hi mummy, I'm home!"  
"Is that you Evanna?"  
"Who else?" I muttered rolling my eyes. Evanna glared at me.  
"Look mummy, this is my friend Kelsie!" Her mums eyes widened as she took in my dirty shoes. My bright clothing and my wild hair. I smiled at her, a big toothy grin. She smiled weakly back.  
"Um hello Kelsie... take your shoes off please dear then take Kelsie upstairs to play, dinner will be done at around six and after dinner I'll take Kelsie home okay?"  
"Okay mummy! Come on Kels I'll show you my room!"  
"Her name is Kelsie Evanna."  
"Oh no I'm cool with Kels thanks misses J,"  
"I'm sorry?"  
"She means mrs Jordan mummy, anyway come on Kelsie,"  
I follow her upstairs and into her room. It was exactly what I expected, girly and completely immaculate. Pale pink walls with a pale pink carpet and a pale blue rug. She had pale blue curtains hanging from her amazing victorian style window and all around her walls were beautiful purple flowers with little diamonds on. Her bed was queen sized and had a pale blue bed spread on with a little pink teddy sitting at the top of it. She had a pale purple wardrobe in the corner. There was only one word to describe this room. Pale. I grinned at Evanna and ran to dive on her bed. I bounced onto it and stared out into her back garden. Wow. The lawn was amazing, not a blade of grass out of place. There was two large bouncy castle's in the corner one pink and one blue. Next to those was a rabbits hutch which held a weeny little white rabbit. There was also a garden shed about the same size as the upstairs of my house.  
"Wow Evvie! Your house is massive!"  
"It's not THAT big," She said shrugging her shoulders.  
"I'll have to bring you to my place some day,"  
"Humm... okay then," she agreed smiling. We played with her toys for abit then went downstairs for tea, her mum took me home and I went to sleep.

The day when Evanna eventually came to my house didn't happen until year 7, years later. We had to wear uniform by then but we still looked so different. Evanna had a grey pleated skirt with thick wooly tights and her blouse tucked in, her tie also tucked in with the schools regulation black jumper on. I wore a tight black skirt with thin tights with my blouse hanging loose and my tie as short as it would go, I'd discovered makeup by this time too and wore as much as I could without being told off by my parents before I'd even left the house and instead of the jumper I wore a bright pink hoodie. I was a loud girl, I was the one everyone wanted to be friends with, I was the popular girl, the one the boys loved, the one the teachers hated. I was cheeky loud and funny. No one could understand why I wanted shy quite Evanna as my bestfriend. To be honest I just wanted to change her. I felt sorry for her, with her demure little pink frocks and perfect school uniform, without me she would be teased.

We got the bus home and as soon as we stepped into my estate it was clear I owned the place. Evanna was shaking in her regulation clarks black shoes. I walked proud and tall in my black converse. The boys shouted.  
"Hey, Kels! Who's this little mug?" Evanna had tears in her eyes.  
"Oi back off Jonesy!" I shouted back fiercely. They all turned around.  
"Alright alright keep your knickers on!" I grinned and pulled Evanna in the general direction of my house.  
"Wow that was scary!"  
"Nah, their all little kitty cats really!" I lead her into my home. It was full of people as usual.  
"MUMMMMMM! I'M HOME! COME AND MEET EVVIE!" Mum came bounding down the stairs little baby Lila in her arms.  
"Hello there dear," She said smiling warmly at her. Evanna smiled back shyly.  
"She's shy," I point out.  
"Awh honestly dear, theres no need to be," Evanna smiles again.  
"COOCHIE COOCHIE COOOO!" I grin pulling at Lila's cheeks. She squeals delightedly.  
"So is this Lila?" Evanna asks.  
"Yeah, isn't she gawwjuss," she had thick black hair and big brown eyes.  
"Yeah,"  
"MUMMM! COME AND GET LILA WHILE I TAKE EVVIE UPSTAIRS!" Mum walks back in and puts Lila into her cot.  
"Alright big mouth, calm down." I grab Evanna and drag her upstairs.  
"LIAM GET OUT OF MY ROOM. NOW." I screech at my older brother Liam who is currently lounging on my bed.  
"Who's this then?" He asks winking at Evanna.

"No Liam. You will not flirt with my best friend, now get out you have to unpack. Remember? Goodbye now."  
"Where did he go?" Evanna asks and she perches awkwardly on my bed.  
"Hogwarts."  
"Oh wow! He must be soooo lucky! Just think Kels we'll be going there soon!" She grins.  
"Yeah, whatever," I say knowing for a fact that I wouldn't. I flopped onto the bed next to her.  
"So, um, how many brothers and sisters did you say you had?" She asks as several loud bangs come from the next room followed by alot of squels.  
"oh? Um 10..."  
"Wow..." she whispers.  
"Most of us are adopted," I say cooly though my cheeks are burning.  
"Awhh, cool, so can you name them all?"  
"Yeah, um Theres Cameron who's the oldest, 15, then theres Charlotte who's 14, then theres Josh who's um, and then theres Laura and Leah who are 12 and are twins, and Liams 12 aswell, then theres meeeee! Little miss 11 over here, then after me it's Rosa and Bella who are twins. and 5 years old. Then theres little baby lila!" I say, boy that took alot of concentration!  
"Wow, how do you keep track?"  
"I don't..."  
"Humm, fair enough, my mums buying me a whole new wardrobe for Hogwarts, with loads of furry jackets and new boots and hoodies and guess what? She's buying me a holister hoodie! Pink just like yours! And she says that if I really REALLY want them then she'll get me some converse! Isn't that great?! What are you getting for Hogwarts, Kels?"  
"Nothing. I'm not going."  
"What?! But you have to come! You just have to!"  
"Well I can't, I'm a squib. I'm not magic."

I'm Evanna Lily Snape.

OMG I HATE HER. Stupid blonde cow. "Oh look at me I'm all cool with my bleach blonde hair and slutty clothes!" WELL SCREW YOU KELSIE LOUIS. SCREW YOU. Stupid squib. Can't even do that right. JUST ERGH. I find myself lying on my bed clawing at my pillow and screaming out of sheer frustration. Everything was so perfect. Then she has to ruin it! Why can't she be happy for me? Suddenly I spot Ruffles at my window. Oh here she is, come to grovel.

OI EVANNA.  
What do you think your doing? Leaving Kelsie for some stuck up Hogwarts freak?! OOO what is it? Is he 'fit' does he give you butterflies? Yeah well he'll leave you too. Or maybe he'll be like me, maybe he really does love you, but maybe he'll make a mistake, put one toe out of line and you'll leave him. You can't just go around ruining lives and hurting people, it isn't fair. You know what? I'm glad I kissed Gabie. You know why? Cause if I didn't I'd be stuck with you, and you'd be leaving me too, just like your leaving Kels.  
Who are you?  
I'll tell you who. Your Evanna Lily Snape. And thats all you'll ever be.  
Michael.

No lying. I'm broken. The angers gone now. All I feel is regret. I still love him. But this is my life now. Double Transfiguration every Monday. Double potions every Friday. Lucy is my bestfriend. Pansy is my wannabee. Hermione and Ron are my how to put it...my 'wingmen'.Harry's my boyfriend, my baby, my one and only. Lee is my brother. His parent's are my parents. Snape is my potions teacher and nothing else. No more laughs on the beach. No more kisses in the park. No more 'Michael&Evanna' etched into countless tree's. No more 'Evvie&Gabie&Kels BEZZIE'S 4 EZZIE'S' No more broken blackberry's with cracked screens. No more "I'm bringing sexy back" or "RIVERSIDE!" All that ended when I came to Hogwarts, when I left them all. Gabie, Kels,Leahara Michael, Sean, Danny, Kieran, Harvey, Daley, Josh, Jack, Liam, Reece, Reiss, Euan and David. Their all gone 's all gone now.

Time to sort my reflection out and get on with the drama that appears to be my new life. Time for the smiles and the fake laughter, and the kisses, and the hugs. Time to shine.

"Hey baby,"  
"Hi," I grin widely. Come on you can do this I tell myself as Harry's arm snakes around my waist pulling me onto his lap. I snuggle up. His chest is hard and uncomfortable.  
"Omg Evvie Seamus just asked me on a date!" Lucy squeals running over.  
"OMG WOW!" I squeal too. Acting. As always.  
And it continues like this for the next few weeks. I still haven't replied to Michael's letter and I don't think I ever will. Lucy constantly goes on about Seamus and the date that I'm starting to think will never happen. Harry constantly tells me he loves me. And I constantly smile and nod and agree and yes I love you to, and no I love you more, and of corse he'll like your hair and yes it looks nice curly, and yes I'm sure he'll ask you out again.  
But no. I don't love you more. And no he wont like your hair, it needs washing and brushing and it looks much better straight or up. And of corse he wont ask you out again. Your in GOODNESS SAKE.

There's a party in the Gryffindor common room and Lucy and I are invited. I don't bother to properly dress up,just my usual every day clothes. Lucy's made a big effort and looks absolutely amazing. Totally rebel-ish. Amazing pink dress complete with pink converse and grey socks. Wow. Everyone stops and stares when we walk in. And for once it's not me their staring at.

Everyone else is dressed up in nice pretty dresses, most of them prom dresses. Only me and a loudmouth gothic girl called Carrie are under dressed. I don't normally socialise with her but as far as I can see she's like a firework about to explode and I can't take my eyes off her.  
"What you looking at?" She asks.  
"Nothing." I mumble.  
"Jog on ginger." She growls glaring at me. I'd start a fight but I'm drained. Completely. I walk over to where Hermione and everyone else are standing. Harry looks shocked when he sees me.  
"Couldn't you have, I dunno, dressed up a bit more? Like Lucy or Hermione?" I glare at him.  
"No." I growl.  
"Okay, okay, I'm just saying you look prettier in a dress," He says defensively. This should be sweet. But my last button's been pressed.  
"Oh I'm sorry Harry. Am I not pretty enough for the famous Potter?" I say, not bothering to keep my voice low. The common room goes deadly silent.  
"Evvie, shut up your embarressing yourself, and me, come on don't be like this, I only asked a simply question, What's wrong with you hunny? Come on why are you being so snappy? I love you,tell me whats wrong!"  
"I DONT CARE IF I'M EMBARRESSING MYSELF. OR IF I'M EMBARRESSING YOU. AND IT WASN'T JUST A SIMPLE QUESTION. I'M NOT YOUR HUNNY. AND I'M BEING SNAPPY BECAUSE THAT'S WHO I AM. AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU LOVE ME. I DON'T CARE." I scream, breaking into sobs near the end. To my complete suprise it's Draco who comes over and puts his arms around me trying to calm me down.  
"Hey, hey, hey, Evvie calm down. shhhh." He murmurs in my ear. I'm struggling to breathe.  
"Who are you?" Harry whispers. But everyone hears. Including me. I break free from Draco's hold and for the first time since I ran away I know the answer.  
"Who am I? I'm Evanna Lily Snape."

I don't wanna trust you.

I take off. I run to my dorm. Fighting back tears as I skid around corners furiously. I dive onto my bed. But the tears refuse to come. So instead I throw everything off my dresser, overcome by complete rage. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. A mad, crazy girl, hair seemingly too wild now, mascara running down my face. It hurts to much to look, so I smash that too. Punching it with my fist. My knuckles are bleeding. I lie on the floor, bloodied and bruised, surrounded by shards of glass. I know I have to clean it all away some time. But right now images over take me. And each image is like a new ripple of pain through my body. They come and come and come. The tears are finally flowing now and I feel sick. I can't move though. So instead I'm sick on the floor in front of me, I'm choking now, on both my tears and sick. I'm incapable of speach and movement. I hear someone break down the door to my dorm and rush in.  
"Evvie! Evvie!" The voice screams frantically. Its Draco. His eyes widen when he sees me.  
"Oh Evvie."

I pick her up and hug her close to me. I take her into the bathroom and wash the blood and sick out of her ragged red hair. She seems incapable of movement. I skillfully dress her in some pj's with my eyes closed,not wanting to invade her privacy. I lay her on a soft pink heart shaped rug in her half of the dorm while I clear the shards of glass from her bed and remake it. I pick her up gently and lay her down on the bed.I realise theres only two beds in this dorm. Huh. Must be just her and Lucy. She's been watching me intently through out. I lean over to tuck her in and she grabs my hand.  
"Please don't leave me." She whispers sadly. She must be so lonely. I climb onto the top of the bed and begin stroking her face.  
"I'll have to go back to my own dorm soon,"  
"I know," She says sadly. Were silent for a while as we sit and just stare , clinging to each other for support.  
"Will you come back...I mean... you know, come up here a few nights...I get so lonely... Luce normally goes to visit Seamus now that there a kind of thing," She says. I'm slightly taken aback.  
"Don't you go visit Harry?"  
"I don't want to..." Is all she says.  
"Of corse I will..." I say.  
"Thank you." I remember now about my plan.  
"Do you trust me?" I ask. She doesn't reply. So slowly I lean in and press my lips to hers. She's frozen for a second then she responds. She breaks away and we press our foreheads together. I give her another kiss and she leans her head against my chest.  
"I have to leave now." She just nods. I go to walk out and I hear her whisper to me,  
"I don't wanna trust you."  
"Tough."

Will anything ever say the same?

Most nights now Draco comes and talks to me. We've never kissed again and it's never been mentioned, were close now, Draco and I, like brother and sister almost. I've stopped sitting at the Gryffindor table and now sit with Draco. No one really questions it, but I'm far from left alone. Harry pelts me with endless owls every night, I never even read them let alone reply. Michael's letter lays under my bed, ripped up and forgotten. Like me. I avoid Lee, I know if he's alone with me long enough he'll question me, and I'm just not ready for it yet.

And sure enough Friday after potions I feel a strong arm pull me aside. But instead of the endless questions or a lecture he hugs me. Just stands there and hugs me. This simple gesture is so familar so much like home that I just break down. I sob into his chest uncontrolably. He strokes my head softly and says "Shhh," but his voice is breaking and I know he's crying too.  
"Please Ev's let me help you,"  
"You can't."  
"Then let me try." I can't stop crying. Lee picks me up by my legs and carrys me to his dorm. Fred and George are sitting on their beds but they leave as soon as we walk in. Lee lies me down on his bed and fetches a dish with warm water in. He washes the tears from my face and brushes my damaged hair. He twists it up into a bun on my head securing it with a simple hair grip. Then he goes to his suitcase and picks something out of it. He walks back over and fixes it into my hair. I look into the mirror and I almost choke. Its my white daisy clip.  
"You were wearing this the day we found you, mum just kind of threw it to the side but I kind of thought it belonged in your hair. It reminded me of your fight. The fight thats still in there." He says, gently pointing to my heart.  
"Who am I Lee?"  
"Your who ever you want to be."

Screw this. Screw that. Screw you. I know who I want to be and who I'm going to be. Popular. Envied. Loud. Wanted. Everywhere I go people will whisper "Look theres Evanna,".  
Sit the hell down

Who I am.

I awake the next morning with a new sense of confidence. I unloosen the first three buttons on my school shirt, I let my wild hair tumble around my shoulders, I apply foundation, blusher, several coats of mascara and lots of perfume. I discard my pleated grey school skirt and replace it with a tight black number that barely covers my knickers, I'm going to have to be very careful when I bend down. I replace the regulation black shiny school shoes for black converse and place a solid silver heart hanging on a chain around my kneck. I take one last look in the mirror, apply more lipstick, fluff my new bleach blonde hair and walk- no- strut out of my dorm.  
I walk into the common room and everyone stares at me.  
"Dont look at what you can't afford," I say winking cheekily at Blaise Zabini.  
"Didn't know we had to pay for you Evvie, what are you a prozzie?" Draco Malfoy shouts. I begin going red then reply cooly with,  
"Actually Draco I heard that you were payed a few nights ago for eh a little bit of activity in the bedroom with Pansy," It was Draco's turn to go bright red.  
"Evvie you bitch!" Pansy shouts. I lounge on the sofa.  
"Oh give it a rest big gob." Lucy walks in as the common room is in an uproar of cheers.  
"EVVIE EVVIE EVVIE!" I grin  
"Hey Luce," I smile.  
"Evvie, what the hell are you wearing..."  
"clothes,"  
"You look like a prostitue,"  
"Oh shut up big nose."  
The common room goes deadly silent. Lucy's eyes brimmed with tears and immeditately I regret it. She stalks out of the room.  
"Luce! Luce no dont be like that!" I shout running after her. Blaise grabs my arm.  
"Leave her babe, she's not worth it." He says dragging me onto his knee. I make no effort to protest and instead kiss him when he leans in, the common room erupts into loud whistles but if you listen carefully you can hear loud heart broken sobs.  
"Kay Kay Zabini, your tounge is disgustinly slimy." I say pulling away. Everyone laughs. They all seem to be waiting, waiting for... me?  
"Come on Pansy." I say clicking my fingers and walking out. Suprisingly, Pansy follows. We walk into the great hall and everyone whistles at us. No, at me... I grin and walk over to the Slytherin table.

Charms next and were learning a charm to take photos. Excellent. I can finally save some of my memories from Hogwarts. We learn how to set our wands to take the photo and how to catch the photo before it falls out of the tip of the wand. I take a picture of Pansy and me to send to my mother. Pansy really isn't so bad, she's kind of...sweet. My new 'gang' is pretty much pansy Draco and Blaise. Why do people misunderstand Slytherins? My only friends from Gryffindor are Lee Fred and George. Hermione and Ron hate me now because I'm friends with Draco, and Harry well...you know...

Party gone wrong...or right?

"Come on Evvie! The partys about to start! Hurry!" Pansy screams into my dorm.  
"Okay Okay shut up! Im nearly done."She goes back down stairs. The music starts and so does the screaming. Its the christmas party. And this year, for the first time in History the Slytherins are sharing it with the other houses, And I was going to bring down the house. Or common room, whatever. It's fancy dress and I'm going as a cliched 'sexy santa'.

I switch off the music as I decend the stairs. Everyone turns to look.  
"Hey hey hey. The party don't start till I walk in." BOOM. The music kicks back in and I'm dancing throwing my hair around wildly, jumping up and down. Im dancing with Draco. With Fred. With George. With Blaise. With . Lucy. Harry. Ron. Hermione. Cedric. Luna. Neville. Sally. And back with Draco. I'm hyper, high. I'm drunk and the alcohol is pumping through my veins with every move I make. Suddenly I'm pushed against a wall kissing Draco. I'm loving it. Then suddenly the music's off. And a certain blonde is standing in the doorway. My eyes meet with Lee's. I walk forward. She's standing there. Complete with geek top, skinny jeans, white leather jacket, back combed hair and made up face. Were face to face now.  
"Well. Well. Little Evanna Jordan. No more pigtails and fluffy jackets then." she says. Her voice breaking.  
"What are you doing here?" I whisper.  
"I've come to take you home."  
"I'll make my own way thanks."  
"Fine. Lee...?" She says pleadingly.  
"And I'll be going with her."  
"I'll be going then."  
"How did you even get here?" I question. She shrugs her shoulders.  
"Train." Its taking all my strength not to run over to her and hug her and tell her how sorry I am. And that I didn't mean it. My eyes are brimming with tears. I'm choking again. It's too much to handle.  
"Bye then." I swallow.  
"Evs..." She whispers. It's too much to handle I break down crying and run to her. Her arms go around me and we stand and hug for awhile, crying. The makeups been cryed from my face and I can feel my hair turning back to its natural shade of red.  
Two completely different girls. Chalk and Cheese. Blonde and red. Loud and quiet. Fire and Ice.

Goodbye Hogwarts.

I awake the next day finding myself completely emptied of strength. I'm not sure if last night actually happened or if it's just my imagination. I force my eyes open and see my arm lazily strung over Kelsie's shoulder. I smile inwardly and drag myself into a sitting position. I shake Kelsie.  
"ERRR. ?" she groans.  
"What time is it?" I say yawning and looking out to see my room is completely destroyed. Ergh. I flop slowly out of bed and look in the mirror. I look like crap. I attack myself with makeup wipes and pull on a onesie. I brush my hair into a dodgy ponytail and go to find Lucy. I eventually find her passed out in the common room.  
"Luce," I whisper, being carefull not to step on anyone. She opens one eye, moans then turns away from me. I sigh. It's four in the afternoon. I flop onto the sofa and am eventually joined by a bedraggled Lucy and a very hungover Kelsie.  
"Wow you people know how to party," says Kelsie downing a full glass of water. I laugh, but it hurts my head. Soon enough Lucy and Kelsie are passed out again. I smile at them then walk upstairs. I pull out my suitcase and throw mounds of clothes in. I add all my taken photo's, not stopping to look, knowing I'll change my mind or do something stupid like cry. I take a deep breath before zipping it up and preparing myself for the big wide world. I grab Draco's broomstick from his bedside. I Leave a note saying I'll return it sometime.  
I can't stay here and lead a fake life. I can't pretend Snape's my father. I can't pretend my mother is dead. I can't pretend that Mr and Mrs Jordan are my adoptive parents. I just can't. So I'm leaving.

It doesn't take me long to reach muggle London. I lie to the train driver and he happily takes me to Diagon Alley. I'm standing on Regent street when I finally make the call.  
"Hey mum...I'm coming home."


End file.
